Reversal
by ohgeekyone
Summary: What if Rose was the Moroi and Dimitri her Guardian? AU.
1. One

**AN: Hi! This is my first venture into VA fanfiction. This idea sort of popped into my head late one night and I had all these ideas about plotlines and I couldn't sleep until I got some of it down. I don't know if this has already been done (I'm sure it has), but I hope this is interesting nonetheless.**

**I imagine this taking place after Vampire Academy – in the timeframe of Frostbite. Obviously, the roles have been reversed between Rose and Lissa and because of this, other things have obviously changed. I hope it makes sense, but if something is confusing, please let me know – I'm very open to advice etc.**

**Thank you and I hope you all like it! Updates won't be particularly regular but should be somewhat steady since the chapters aren't too long (yet).**

* * *

The start of a new term never filled me with joy. After having spent the summer at my home in London, retuning to Middle-of-Nowhere, Montana was not the most appealing scenario. The fact that it was my final year didn't make it any easier – there was nothing to do at St Vladimir's except play the political game all Royals had to play. Without Sofia, it would be even harder. My heart dropped at the thought of my previous Guardian.

"It'll be fine," Lissa, my best friend, told me, smiling gently. She always seemed to know what I was thinking as well as feeling. "No one expects you to forget Sofia just like that."

Tears burned my eyes as Sofia's name was mentioned. Up until two weeks ago, she'd been my Guardian, the one sworn to protect me and my race with her life. Her death at the hands of the Strigoi who attacked us had proven just how loyal she and her Dhampir kind really were.

I nodded to Lissa so she knew I heard her, but I knew it did no good. I saw her eyebrows draw together as she felt how devastated I was through the bond. The stupid one-way bond that meant she could feel my emotions, even see the world through my eyes. The bond that had formed when I had saved her life two years ago.

Vasilissa Dragomir was a Dhampir, a member of the race that protected us, the Moroi, from any harm that would come to us. She wasn't my Guardian yet, but it was guaranteed that she would be once we graduated – after all, why let a bond like ours go to waste? Besides, I didn't want anybody else guarding me; I didn't trust anyone but Lissa and Sofia…and the latter was gone now.

"Look we're here," Lissa said to distract me from my own sadness. I looked up out the window and saw St Vladimir's Academy towering over us. The place I would call home for one last year. Another year that would surely be filled with hours labouring in a classroom trying to control my element: Spirit. Lissa had been the one to discover that the reason I'd not specialised was because I was a Spirit user – a being who could perform extraordinary acts…but with a price. My 'act' was healing, but over the summer we had discovered what that price was for me: my sanity. And it seemed that the price was also Sofia's life. The irony that I could heal but couldn't save one of my best friends was not lost on me – Sofia may have lived, but I would have completely lost my mind. Lissa wouldn't let me and I knew for a fact that Sofia wouldn't have wanted it either.

The car slowed to a stop outside the doors and I tried to brush my emotions away. I had a part to play in this castle – the part of a Princess, the final member of the Hathaway line. So I plastered a smile on my face, squeezed Lissa's hand one last time, and got out of the car. Sofia was gone and I couldn't dwell on 'what ifs' here as I had been doing for the previous weeks.

"Rosemarie! How wonderful to see you again!" Headmistress Kirova beamed at me from the doorway, although it looked like it took her much more effort to smile than it did to shout us like she usually did. I soon realised the reason for the smile: the school's Governors were here and were looking expectantly between Kirova and I. _What was going on?_

"Miss Hathaway," one of them began, stepping forward slightly. I didn't recognise him but he was surely from a Royal family or at least spoke on behalf of one. "It has come to our attention that you are currently without a Guardian. We'd like to offer you one our best to, er, compensate for the loss of Guardian Dakovra."

It was a miracle I kept the smile on my face with that blow. It wasn't unheard of for Moroi to develop a close friendship with their Guardians, but it was still somewhat unusual. Guardians were disposable to the Moroi and were expected to remain invisible unless requested otherwise. Their insensitive way of telling me that Sofia would be replaced filled me with a sense of dread that this man would never understand if he didn't love his Guardian as I had loved Sofia.

"I'm happy without a Guardian; I have Lissa…" I tried to reason, but as soon as the words were out of my mouth I could see the Governors shaking their heads with disapproving looks on their faces.

"That will not do, Miss Hathaway," the man spoke again, completely dismissing my desires as Royals tended to do. "You are a Royal. Really you should have two. But alas, we are limited. Anyway, Guardian Belikov has already been assigned to you."

With this, he made a hand gesture to one of the many Guardians stood by the doorway. Dressed all in black, a man stepped forward. I blinked in surprise – he was young – older than me, of course, but still young – and incredibly attractive. Dhampirs were always seen as attractive to Moroi, purely because they were so different from us – they were exotic. But this man (he was not a boy, that was for damn sure) was handsome in a different kind of way. Tall, _really_ tall, dark and he had a face that was so…interesting. He looked…wise.

"Miss Hathaway, this is Guardian Dimitri Belikov – your new Guardian. Belikov – this is Rosemarie Hathaway."

I gave him a tight smile and started scowling at Kirova and the Governor. "Really, Lissa can protect me. I don't need, or want, another Guardian. I'll be here all year and I doubt any Strigoi will attack the school."

It was bad, _so so bad_, that I tried to use a little Compulsion in my speech. I didn't dare use it in full on so many people at once, _so many Moroi_, but a little bit wouldn't hurt anyone. _Except me if I used it any more_. I could tell that it was no use anyway when the man's face soured. "Miss Hathway, Belikov is your new Guardian whether you approve or not. Miss Dragomir is not a Guardian yet – she is a Novice." He spat the word out at me like it was poison.

"A Novice who could still kick your—" I heard Lissa growl behind me.

I put out an arm to stop her moving forwards and tried to send calming feelings through the bond. _Play the game, Lissa. You can't get angry with these people – it will do nothing._

"Very well," I sighed to the man, glancing back to my new Guardian. "If you'll excuse me, Lissa and I need to unpack."

With that, I grabbed Lissa's hand and strode into the castle, not looking back to see if Dimitri was following. I assumed he was – that was their job, after all.

We'd only walked a few paces into the hallway when I heard an excited voice call for Lissa. We both whirled to our left to see Mason Ashford, another Dhampir who was crushing badly on Lis, grinning at her.

"Where have you been all my life Vasilissa?" He flirted, gallantly taking her hand and placing a sweeping kiss to it.

Happy that she had someone to joke around with but unwilling to witness, as always, the vast amount of attention she received, I smiled at them both.

"I'll catch you later, Lis. You and Mason have the summer to catch up on and I need to eat anyway."

Lissa looked like she was about to protest since she knew I was still upset over Sofia, but she knew me well enough to know when I needed some time alone.

They both smiled and waved to me as I walked off down the hallway, smiling politely at those who greeted me. I glanced behind to see if Dimitri was following. He was. Realising that I could have offended him before outside the doors, I slowed down to speak to the man who was to be a permanent fixture in my life for the foreseeable future.

"It's nothing personal against you, Guardian Belikov, that I don't want a Guardian. I'm sure you're as adept as they say, but really, I have no desire to be reminded of the fact that I'm weak and vulnerable and in need of protection."

"Of course, Your Highness. And please, call me Dimitri." His voice was deep and smooth with a hint of a Russian accent. It was as attractive as the rest of him.

"Rose is fine too," I replied, throwing a small smile at him. I may not have wanted him there, but the fact was that if we were to ever come across Strigoi, he would give his life to protect mine. That was worth respect, regardless of my childish impudence.

"Rose," he repeated, offering a restrained smile in return.

* * *

**Any comments would be appreciated!**


	2. Two

**Thank you for the feedback! I really appreciated all that you had to say! **

**This story will be a bit angsty at times, since Rose has the Spirit Element and I think her personality would make her more susceptible to it. She's always been self-sacrificing and I think that would definitely come across with her Spirit, if the roles were reversed. Let me know what you think about this?**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

We continued walking towards the Feeding Rooms in silence, only broken when someone shouted hello to me and I responded. Just before we arrived at the rooms, he held the door open for me and commented, "You're popular around here then?"

I shook my head a little. "Popular isn't the right word. Lis and I are…well, people know us…and that's putting it lightly."

He followed me into the room even though I knew it made Dhampirs uncomfortable to be in the feeding rooms. Blood sharing amongst them was considered dirty and while we Moroi had to drink blood to survive, the actualities of drinking the blood of another was still…well, weird. As I observed Dimitri, however, he didn't look particularly uncomfortable or alarmed in any way. In fact, he was simply walking beside me to the room that was available looking exactly as he had since I met him: intense, focused and powerful.

"You know you don't have to stand and watch this," I told him, suddenly feeling like I was the uncomfortable one. He was going to watch me drink blood? _Really_? It seemed sort of intimate for a stranger to watch something like this. The feeder, a human boy named Marc, would be in heaven and, to be honest, so would I.

"If you would prefer me to wait outside…" He motioned behind him, looking completely unfazed.

Feeling silly, I muttered, "I don't mind, I just didn't want you to feel awkward or anything."

He placed himself into what I'd imagine was an "at ease" posture and continued staring at me indifferently. "Blood doesn't bother me, Your Highness."

"It's Rose," I corrected sharply before realising that he was just acting according to his station. "I'm sure it doesn't…"

Lissa was always telling me about how fierce Guardians had to be. Just hearing about her training sessions exhausted me; Moroi weren't supposed to be physically in shape. We were all lanky and shapeless – for us females, that meant no boobs or hips to speak of whatsoever. Mine seemed to be especially narrow and pronounced given the fact that I was distinctly taller than most other girls in my year – a fact which irritated me greatly. I wished I could have been like Lissa – strong, curvaceous and intimidating Lissa who could get a priest to flirt with her if she wanted. Every male within a mile of her seemed to gravitate towards her charm and exotic beauty. I would be the first to admit to jealousy, despite her being my best friend. The only boys who ever spoke to me were Royals trying to form some kind of strong alliance between the families – I would play the part of a Princess, but I would not go above and beyond to play the game. I wanted to be noticed by someone, just once. Even just for friendship, since I knew that no Moroi wanted to fool around with an orphaned Hathaway who, if she used her powers too much without practice, would eventually turn insane, and whose only friend was cooler and more interesting than her in every way.

It was an issue.

Looking away from Dimitri and trying to pretend that he didn't exist, I bit gently into Marc's wrist, nearly moaning when the blood hit my tongue. It had been far too long since my last feeding; I couldn't risk not keeping up my strength when practising Spirit as much as I was. I heard Marc sigh in contentment as the endorphins rushed over him. _At least we were both enjoying it_, I thought.

Pulling away when I heard his heart beat splutter a little trying to compensate for the blood loss, I wiped my fingers over my mouth to rid myself of any leftover blood. I spun around to find Dimitri watching the exchange with the same focused look he always seemed to wear.

I stood up, brushing my skirt off, and thanked Marc with a smile which he returned with great excitement. God, my life was strange.

* * *

"So I assume you're from Russia, Dimitri?"

We were walking back to the same dorm I had occupied for years with Lissa, him walking slightly behind me like all Guardians of Royals seemed to do. It upset me a little that they did this – he was my equal in many ways and my superior in many more. I slowed down a little so we could walk side by side, like Lissa and I always did and like Sofia and I.

He nodded once. "Yes, from Baia."

I nodded along even though I didn't have a clue where that was.

"I bet it was even colder there than it is here. And with even less to do," I commented idly, thinking about how Liss and I could have a day trip to a mall in a few weeks for a spot of shopping. It used to cheer me up when I was younger – maybe it would pull me from my grief a little.

A hint of a real smile crossed his face but was gone before I could really consider it. "You could say that, Your Highness, yes."

I was about to huff, "It's Rose" again when I decided against it. He would learn soon enough, being around Liss and I as he would be.

"How did you end up looking after the last Hathaway?"

I said it as off-handedly as I could. _The Last Hathaway_. My eyes stung with tears at the thought. No family. Nobody to walk me down the aisle. No grandparents to my children on my side. No uncles or aunts. Nobody. Just me and Lissa.

_Do not cry, Hathaway. Suck it up._

"The Council asked me to," he replied somewhat warily. I supposed it wasn't my business how he ended up stuck with me anyway.

Changing the subject, I asked where he would be staying in the castle.

"Just down the hall from your room, so I can be at your side in an emergency."

I nodded; it was usual for Guardians to always be close to their Moroi. That was why Lissa and I would be so great together (besides the bond) – we were best friends anyway. She would always be around me to make me laugh, keep me sane and keep me safe. Hopefully, I could repay her for everything she had done and everything she would do in the future. Somehow.

"I will not be present for some days, however, Your Highness," he continued. "I have been charged with teaching Dhampir classes every so often and will be occupied with those for some hours of the week. You will always be protected, though, so do not fear that."

I raised my eyebrows. "They said you were good but being unleashed on Vampire Academy's students? You really must be brave."

He didn't respond to my comment but then I hadn't expected him to; it was becoming clear that he didn't speak unless he had something to say. That was okay – I needed to build my social skills back up before term started anyway.

"Go easy on Lissa; she's had a hard time of it looking after me." I said it jokingly, but when his expression did not lighten, I realised that he already knew that – he'd read my file. Of course he had.

"Apparently, you do not need to worry. I have heard she is more than an adequate Novice; the best, I have heard." He sounded impressed and for some reason, it bugged me. She always inspired awe and admiration from everyone; all I inspired was fear that my Element would eventually lead to my death, or even worse to turning Strigoi.

I smiled sardonically, my mind tapping into that dark place inside myself that I rarely went. "Lissa is great at _everything_ she does and people _always_ notice."

If he picked up on my comment borne out of tiredness, grief and petty jealousy, he didn't give any indication. I would have apologised and taken the comment back, but it was too late and I doubted that he'd care anyway. 'Silly schoolgirl friendships', as Kirova had once called our relationship, were not on his list of priorities, I was sure.

Arriving at my door, I turned to face him again and only then realised how close he was. I cleared my throat and took a step back – Sofia had never been that close at the start, had she?

"I'm going to unpack and then sleep, so I'll be in here for the rest of the evening. You can go and do whatever you'd like, Comrade." I'd learnt quickly, years ago, that if a Moroi did not do something to dismiss their Guardian, the Guardian would continue to stay outside a room until their replacement came or until their Moroi needed their company once again. After I'd found a young Sofia stood outside my bedroom door one morning looking beyond tired, I'd been quick to dismiss my Guardian as quickly as I was able for the rest of Sofia's life.

Dimitri nodded, bowed a little and began to walk away from me. At the last minute before he turned the corner, he looked back and said in his ever mysterious and powerful voice, "I have heard you are also more than adequate at your own skill, so it seems you too are good at the things you do. There are different kinds of greatness, Your Highness. Have a nice evening."

And then he strode around the corner as if that wasn't the most praise I'd received from anyone since my parents had died.


	3. Three

**AN: This chapter is a bit angsty - I promise the story will be a bit lighter as it goes. The point of this is to show that Spirit while being pretty helpful, has very negative consequences.**

**Anyway, despite the angst, I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

I awoke to someone knocking on my door.

Groaning and heaving myself out of the warm and cosy bed, I crossed barefoot to the door, grumbling the whole way. Glancing over to Lissa's bed, I saw it unmade and then remade messily, meaning that she'd come in last night and had already left. _To train_, I thought. _She's mad to train on a Sunday. It's Sunday._

"This better be good, Liss," I muttered as I opened the door with a glare.

It wasn't Lissa.

"Good morning, Your Highness," Dimitri said, sounding more awake than someone should be on a Sunday morning. "I'm sorry I woke you."

His eyes scanned my body from top to bottom as he said it, as though he only just realised that I would be in bed. The silk pyjama set wasn't considered scandalous for Moroi, who could pull off designer clothes better than the humans who wore them on a catwalk. Yet when his eyes seemed to linger disapprovingly on the hemline of the shorts, I huffed a little.

"It's _Sunday_," I complained a little, needing some sleep. "Sunday mornings are for lie-ins and big breakfasts and crap television and lazy sex and—"

I hadn't meant to say it. Mentioning sex in front of a Council-approved Guardian wasn't the classiest of plans and certainly not appropriate to someone I had just met. I blamed it on being tired and being woken up, which always made me irritable. Lissa always told me that I was like a child – if I was hungry or tired, it was best to stay away.

Dimitri didn't even blink. "Apologies, Princess. Breakfast is being served in the Hall."

I almost groaned with dread. Spending my Sunday morning entertaining the masses of Moroi Royals wasn't something I ever looked forward to, especially not without Sofia by my side. Still, it was my job. _Plaster on a smile, turn on the charm, Rose._

I nodded to my new Guardian, yawning. "I'll be ten minutes."

* * *

It was packed full. The Hall could not have fit any more students into it if it tried.

Dimitri and I stood by the doors, waiting for me to man up and go in. Taking a deep breath, drawing my shoulders back and placing the classic smile that I'd been known for before summer, I entered the hallway.

A few people smiled and greeted me, some girls even coming up to talk to me while I tried to locate Lissa.

"How was your summer?"

"Is it true about the attack?"

"What classes do you have this term?"

"Did Sofia really die?"

"I heard it happened in the middle of London!"

"I heard it was your fault."

The last one made my head snap around to look at Mia Rinaldi – a Moroi who was only a year younger than me but still managed to make me feel like a five year old. That was before summer. Now it seemed she had the ability to make me feel like a murderer.

My eyes narrowed. Where the _hell_ did she hear that? "Excuse me?" I snapped harshly, packing as much glare into my eyes as possible.

The others had gone quiet as soon as Mia had spoken up. There was a rivalry between Mia and I and had been since it had been decided that I'd marry Adrian Ivashkov – the older Moroi who Mia had been crushing on since she was a freshman. I didn't even really know Adrian – all I knew was that he was a Royal and our parents had been friends. I'd only ever met him twice and both times had been before I was ten years old. It seemed silly that Mia would be so bitter over what was just politics and the Moroi way, but that didn't stop me from getting angry over it.

"I said—"

Cutting her off, I stepped closer to her. "I heard what you said. What I meant was, excuse me, but who the hell do you think you are?"

I could feel it. The darkness that always returned when I was feeling insecure or angry or upset. It always came back, no matter how many lessons I had to control my Spirit. It was a part of me that the Spirit seemed to unleash.

I hated it. But at the same time… I loved it. The power it gave me. The strength I felt coursing through me whenever I let my feelings turn dark.

Mia scoffed, not in the least bit fazed. "I heard you wandered off into the city, into a known Strigoi area, without telling a single person. Apparently, not even Lissa could find you with that freak-show bond you guys have. I heard it was your fault that we lost four Guardians."

If I was Lissa, I would have taken her out right then, consequences be damned. But I wasn't Lissa and I couldn't fight with my fists.

So I smirked condescendingly at Mia. "Run along, little girl. The grown-ups want to talk." And then I zeroed in on the boy next to her, the boy who had spent all summer in the same city as me and the boy Mia was practically in love with. "Hey, Aaron. We should get together again, soon. Have dinner again like over summer?" I didn't use compulsion, but I turned the Hathaway charm on his full blast.

He was a goner.

"Sure, Rose, I'd love that. How about next we—"

"Sounds great," I muttered, having spotted Lissa…coming straight for us.

"Punching above your weight again, Mia?" Lissa snapped at her scrunched up face that had turned red with anger.

"I'll punch something," she spoke bravely, standing up. She didn't even reach my shoulders.

I laughed at her, glancing around at her friends who watched the exchange with varying expressions of shock. "Stop bothering these people, Mia, they're trying to eat. Nobody wants you here."

I would like to say that I didn't mean to use compulsion, but that would be a lie. I wanted her to hurt as she'd just made me hurt, take away the things she loved most in the world like that had been taken from me. She shouldn't have reminded me of it. She should have just stayed quiet.

I didn't use it on mute like I had to Kirova the day before. This was turned on high.

The people at her table couldn't get away quick enough, all muttering about how they weren't even sure why they were sat with her in the first place. Mia's frown fell as her face turned to one of confusion and desperation.

"Rose," Lissa muttered beside me, grasping onto my hand. "What did you do?"

I blinked slowly, opening my eyes to look at her, except they were immediately drawn to Dimitri's face. His indifference was gone. He looked… stunned. Had he seen the compulsion? Would he have recognised it for what it was? I suddenly felt lighter and…guilty. Mia was just being Mia and usually when this happened, I spouted off some witty comments to derail her. I'd never before done something like this. Once Liss had my hand and I was looking at Dimitri's shocked face, I regretted what I'd done.

_No you don't_, the dark part of myself whispered accusingly. _You loved it._

I couldn't take my eyes off his face. He looked concerned, shocked, worried and even…angry. At me? I responded, albeit shakily and without fervour, to Lissa without looking at her.

"Only what she deserved."

* * *

Later, I sat outside the main building on a bench, watching the students mill around. Lissa was in a Dhampir meeting regarding assessments this term and had left me with a disapproving and worried shake of her head. I knew she'd felt the darkness creeping up on me, but we hadn't found a way that wasn't sedation to stop it, or at least slow it down. Lissa loved me too much to sedate me – she thought that we'd be able to find a way to calm me down without the use of medication. I was less optimistic.

"What was that?" Dimitri had left my side for a short while, going to teach a defence class after the incident in the hall. It was a Sunday, but they often held classes for those wanting extra classes.

I turned to look up at him slowly. I decided to play dumb. "What was what?"

He didn't even dignify that with a response.

I sighed, returning to look at the courtyard and running a hand over my face. "She should have known better than to bring up the incident over summer."

I assumed he'd heard about it. Everyone else had. Four Guardians' death is a big deal – the incident would be remembered for years.

"You should not have done what you did."

"And what exactly did I do? Mia's personality is enough to scare anyone off, even the few friends she's made."

"That's not what happened and you know it, Your Highness. It may not be my place to say it, but I have read all about your Element. You should not be using it to settle petty rivalries."

I snapped my head to look at him in disbelief. "Petty? What happens between Moroi in high school stays with them throughout their political careers. The friendships we make and the enemies – both are formed in school, Guardian Belikov. Mia shouldn't have brought it up, and I made sure she knew not to do it again. Now or ever."

_He's right, Rose. You shouldn't have done anything. You should have just been the better person like you always are. Lissa's the strong one, you're the weak one in need of protection._

"It…was not fair." Dimitri sounded like he was trying to find the words to chastise her without overstepping the boundaries. After all, he was my Guardian now, and a new one at that.

Laughing sadly, I replied, "Life isn't fair, Comrade."

"I am sure your friend Vasilissa would have defended you, had you given her the chance." His voice was little bit less judgemental then, which made me feel a bit less like crap.

"She shouldn't have to," I responded, looking up at him again. "Lissa would throw herself in front of any enemy I faced… but she shouldn't have to, as long as I can do something about it. And I can certainly do something about Mia Rinaldi."

His face remained the same but he shook his head. "It is our job to defend you."

"Not when I can defend myself," I countered.

"That comes with a price, Your Highness."

I paused, feeling my stomach flip at the idea of him knowing of my…illness.

"If my Element could mean that you guys don't have to step in for me, I'll use it as much as I want, regardless of the consequences."

Silence reigned, then. I think he finally understood what I was saying – my power and the repercussions it came with were nothing to me if it meant I could defend myself. If I could defend myself, it would mean that they didn't have to do it for me. It would mean that nothing like what happened to Sofia would _ever_ happen again.

"You cannot risk your own health for high school arguments."

"I had to."

"No, you did—"

I snapped. He had no right; he didn't understand. "I had to defend Sofia, Guardian Belikov!" I stood up, unleashing every bit of anger and remorse that coursed through my body in that moment. "Nobody will ever tarnish her name or her memory in front of me and I was making sure Mia and everybody else in that Hall knew it. My sanity to defend her name? My sanity to defend her skill as a Guardian? It's a small price to pay, don't you think?"

I saw his eyes soften, but I couldn't bear to look at him anymore. He was like a conscience that I did not need right then. "I'm leaving to find Lissa. You are free for the day, Guardian Belikov."

And then I walked off with my head held high. I would not let him make me feel guilt or remorse over what I just did – I was feeling guilty enough without some guy I'd just met making it worse. If I could defend Sofia, I would. If I could ever defend Lissa, I would. And if this Element meant that I would end up like Ms Karp, then so be it.

_Maybe I deserved it for what I did to Sofia. Mia was right – it was all my fault._

* * *

**Aaaaaand the angst is done for now. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Four

When Lissa barged into our room later, I knew she'd felt everything through the bond.

"You need to stop with the powers, Rose," she exclaimed, not beating around the bush. "They are destroying you from the inside out and you need to just _stop_! And you can pretend that you're fine with what happened all you want, but I know you're not. I felt it."

I looked over at her from the bed I'd collapsed on when I'd escaped to the solitude of our room. What could I say? She could only feel the emotions I went through when I used them – she couldn't hear the thoughts that made me think I deserved this for what I did to Sofia. She didn't know that in a horrible, twisted way, I liked being able to control people. To heal people if need be. I wanted to help so many people with this gift that everyone kept trying to smother – including my best friend. Why did nobody realize that it might be a good thing to practice this skill outside of a classroom?

"I'm fine, Liss, I promise."

"No you're not!" She exploded. "There was such…darkness coming from you today, it was like I didn't even know you! You need to stop letting them rule you. You are stronger than your powers, Rose. Much stronger."

I smiled a little at the faith she had in me. "It doesn't feel like it sometimes… Sometimes… I just want to use them all the time. If they're going to make me insane if I use them sparingly on stupid things like Mia Rinaldi, then surely I should be using them for better things, y'know?"

She shook her head. "You shouldn't be using them at all. Ever."

I threw her a look that echoed my words. "They're the reason you're still alive, Lissa."

"I didn't ask for that!"

I jerked a little as though she'd hit me. Her job in life was to make sure I survived, and she was mad at me for doing the same? She was my best friend, my sister – I would always make sure she was alive and happy. I wasn't sure I could live without her since she was the only one who could actually understand what I was going through with this Spirit thing – she was right there alongside me, feeling everything as I felt it.

She clearly saw the sad look on my face as I considered the repercussions of _not_ saving her. She sighed with regret. "I didn't mean it like that."

I nodded slowly and she came to sit by me, placing her hand over mine in a way that was both soothing and loving. "I just hate seeing you become someone that you're not, Rose. You've always been the funny, charming Hathaway – that's the friend I love. This person… This isn't you. Sofia wouldn't have wanted you to be like this. _I_ don't want you to be like this, and I'm sure you and your parents don't want it either."

It was the truth she'd clearly been bottling up for weeks. Nobody else would have used my parents' memory or Sofia's memory to guilt trip me into something, but Lissa would. Only Lissa cared enough to.

"You're right," I sighed, throwing myself back onto the bed. "I won't do it again."

"Anything?" She clarified, folding her arms in an 'I mean business' manner. "No Spirit at all?"

I hesitated. "Not outside of class, unless someone is in dire need of it."

I could see that she was about to protest again so I grabbed her wrist and pulled her beside me onto the bed. "That's as far as I'm willing to go right now, Liss."

* * *

The next few days passed in a blur of classes, feeding and socializing with people Liss and I didn't particularly want to talk to. Mia had seemed to understand my message, along with the rest of the school, and summer was not mentioned again by anyone. I didn't even see Mia in the next few days, but I heard from Lissa that she was beyond angry at me – no surprises there, then.

Dimitri hadn't really spoken to me beyond the normal pleasantries Guardians shared with their charges: Good morning, Princess. I hope you are well, Princess. I think you're an evil bitch for what you did to that girl, Princess.

Okay, so the last one wasn't what he'd said outright to me, but I could tell that was what he thought. It was in his stern eyes that always regarded me with coldness, the solemn set of his lips, the indifference all over his face rather than the politeness he'd held for me when we had first met.

I hated that it made me feel so bad. I did what I had to do and it worked – nobody was bothering me or Lissa anymore. So why did I feel like I'd done the worst thing I could have done? Did he think me weak for protecting myself against Mia? Did he not know that if Mia could have done the same, she'd be parading up and down the corridors like a Queen? To defend Sofia's memory, I would have done anything.

By Friday, I was ready for a break from classes already. Five days into school and I was already exhausted from smiling constantly, and flirting with the right Royals and practicing Spirit in doses so small it felt like I was accomplishing absolutely nothing. I dragged my feet out of the Element classroom and headed down the hallway to our dorm. Dimitri, as always, kept a close distance between us so that he wasn't invading my personal space but was close enough to defend me from any attacks. Not that I would be attacked physically in this school – all the fighting here was with words, and occasionally (between hormone-ridden boys in competition with each other) with Elements.

I opened the door with a tired sigh, already looking forward to flopping onto my bed. But first…

"Thank you Dimitri. Have a nice evenin—"

I stumbled backwards into his chest, gasping, my hand immediately going to my mouth to suppress a shout of horror.

There, written on the wall next to my bed, bright red and still dripping, was one word.

_Murderer_.

* * *

**I promise the romance is coming soon! Just need to set up a scenario for the two of them... **


	5. Five

Despite the cold indifference he had shown me all week, Dimitri's arms came around me and hauled me out of the doorway in seconds.

"Stay here, Princess," he muttered to me, his eyes on the doorway as though something was going to leap out of it. Meanwhile, I stood shakily against the wall with my hand on my chest to try to quell my heavy breathing. Why would someone do that? It was one thing to intimidate someone in a hallway, to throw around some empty threats and insult them…and quite another to do this. I had never heard of anything like this happening inside the school – we might be bitches but we were harmless. The Moroi were peaceful, never seeking revenge or intimidation on this scale.

_Murderer_.

My heart started to ache at the idea that it really was me who killed Sofia and three other Guardians, and I closed my eyes just before watching Dimitri disappear into the room. I had promised Lissa I wouldn't think such negative thoughts that tended to lead me to using Spirit – I needed to stop feeling guilty. _Fake it until you make it._

After a few deep breaths, I started thinking more logically. Surely it wasn't a coincidence that this topic was brought up at the beginning of that week too…

Mia.

Would Mia go that far to get revenge? Was she just trying to scare me? Either way, I would find out the truth. I wasn't going to let this slide, and I'm sure Dimitri and the rest of the school's Governors wouldn't either. Breaking into a student's bedroom and vandalising it was a serious action – whoever did this would be found quickly, I was sure.

"It's clear," I heard Dimitri say to me, walking closer to where I was still stood against the wall, probably with a stupidly confused and helpless expression on my face.

"I promise we'll find out who did this, Rose," he assured me quietly, his hands by his sides and his body tensed for action.

It was the first time he'd called me by name since that first day. I guess the excitement had made him forget that he was disgusted with me over what I did to Mia. But then if she'd done this in retaliation, did that mean that he thought I deserved this? Surely not – bitchy and catty comments were one thing; even my level of Spirit that had hijacked those fake friends from Mia (who had, incidentally, found new best friends by the next morning) was nothing compared to this. This was a threat. Hence the blood writing on the wall.

I swallowed. "It's blood," I informed him, in case he'd not figured it out or thought it was paint. Moroi senses were more heightened than Dhampir's, but even so, paint didn't drip like that; it was too thick. And the smell… Coppery and tangy. My idea of sustenance had never looked less appealing.

He nodded solemnly, picking out a cell phone from his pocket and sending a short message to someone.

"Do you have any idea who might have done this?" He asked me, again keeping his voice quiet, calm and soothing. I noticed absent-mindedly that his accent became stronger when he was quieter.

"I thought…" I hesitated, not wanting to grass on Mia when I wasn't sure she'd done it. Then, I thought, it was better to tell him – he was my Guardian and it was his job to keep me safe. "I thought about Mia… after…you know-" I was an unsure mess; I knew exactly what he thought of me for that I'd done and I wouldn't have been surprised if he thought I was just trying to get her into trouble. I hated the idea that he despised me for what I'd done and I didn't exactly relish bringing it up.

If he thought it was a stupid and spiteful answer he didn't show it. Instead, he simply nodded and, to my astonishment, agreed. "I considered her too. I have heard she can be quite…vindictive when provoked."

I blinked. "But you thought I was…You thought she—"

"You are my Moroi to protect and I should never question you," he interrupted me, looking straight into my eyes. His eyes had such depth to them, I realised… like he was a thousand years old…

Shaking my head to rid myself of these thoughts – it wasn't appropriate for a Moroi princess to think such things – I nodded my head once in response but couldn't think of anything to say. It had irked me that he'd assumed I was just being childish and "petty" towards Mia when really I'd been defending someone close to me. Surely he could understand that?

He continued after a brief pause. "It was not what you did that I was surprised at, it was how you did it. It is not safe for you to do such things, no matter what they are for. You could have defended your Guardian in another way that was less dangerous for you."

I contemplated this; it was true that using Spirit was damaging to my health but surely he understood that? He risked his life every day for me – why was it so absurd for me to do the same? Before I could ask him this very question, he smirked a little at me as though he already knew what I was going to say.

"I know you like to be strong, Rose, but save your strength and fight for something bigger than this Mia girl."

Right then, three Guardians and Headmistress Kirova rounded the corner. Kirova's eyes found mine straight away and she looked at me with sheer exasperation.

"You're back in this school for five minutes and already you have been the subject of more drama than we've had all year!"

* * *

I sat in a spare room with Liss and two Guardians while they cleaned my room and talked among themselves. Dimitri had been needed for this as he had obviously spent more time with me than the others and could know more about this…what? Prank? Threat? They'd not found anything yet that gave a certain answer to the question we all wanted solved: who did it?

"If it was Mia, I swear to God…" Lissa started, pacing around the room with her hand curled near her mouth as though deep in thought.

I shrugged, fiddling with the comforter on the bed. "It seems a little dramatic… even for Mia."

"I don't know, Rose, she was pretty pissed about what you did." She continued pacing.

I sighed. "I really think it's a bit much for Mia…She wasn't nearly this bad before summer…"

"I asked around about that. Apparently she used the summer we were in London to her advantage… Silly bitch, thinking she could rise up so quickly…" Lissa trailed off, mostly talking to herself rather than to me. "She's just pissed that you're engaged to Adrian so she's—"

"Princess," Dimitri interrupted as he appeared at the doorway. "You have both been assigned to a new room near mine so I can keep an eye on you always." His face was no longer full of the concern and passion it had held earlier; he looked stern and professional. He'd reverted back to looking as though he'd much rather be doing anything that being around me.

At this moment, I couldn't particularly blame him. Guardians for high-ranking politicians would be used to incidents like this but I was sure Dimitri hadn't expected threats in blood while protecting a teenager in Montana.

Lissa and I looked at each other and she held out her hand for me to grasp and pull me up off the bed. It seemed I would be constantly relying on Vasilissa to help me up when I was down. _Always have, always will,_ a tiny voice reminded me vindictively. Pushing it away, I walked out of the room and followed Lissa to our new untainted room. I could only hope this one wouldn't be broken into and splashed with blood.

* * *

"So you are engaged, Your Highness?"

Dimitri and I were sat outside the next evening, waiting for the bell to ring that would signify the beginning of classes. It was as chilly as usual that evening and I'd bundled myself up into a scarf and a hat to keep the icy chill from the wind from attacking my face. Even Moroi didn't look good with chapped lips and a dry face.

I nodded without looking at him. "You overheard that then?"

He nodded, staring straight ahead at the students that were passing by us and staring at me. News of the blood threat had worked its way around school the same way gossip always did at St Vladimirs – quickly and factually correct. People added in their own opinions, of course, as it did the rounds around the school, but the facts remained the same – I had entered mine and Lissa's room to find the word "Murderer" written in blood on the wall. It still turned my stomach 24 hours later.

"I hope I did not overstep, Your Highness…" He trailed off uncertainly – an odd trait for one such as Dimitri. He was always so sure of himself. Clearly making small talk with me wasn't his idea of a good evening.

"No, not at all," I assured him, bouncing my legs up and down to fight the cold. "I'm engaged to marry Adrian Ivashkov once school is over."

"How long have you been together?" He asked kindly, continuing this charade of normal conversation that was clearly a bid to distract me from recent events.

I shook my head at him. "We're not together. It's an arranged marriage, I guess."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him frown.

"Is that a usual custom in the US?" His tone indicated that he was confused by my admission.

I shrugged in answer, not knowing how to phrase it without sounding like I resented it. I didn't mind Adrian – he was kind, rich, funny and good-looking. I could have done worse. Plus, this marriage would tie together two very important bloodlines and create a new dynasty of an Ivashkov-Hathaway alliances– or so our parents had hoped.

"I don't mind it," I assured him. "It's a political thing more than a marriage of love. It's a marriage that will benefit many, myself included." Now it sounded like I was reciting from a book. Trying to justify it aloud so it didn't sound weird to him, I turned to look at him and attempted a smile. "Don't arranged marriages happen in Russia?"

"We are not the backwards country you seem to think we are, Princess."

I quickly tried to assure him that I hadn't meant that at all, and I would have loved to visit Russia one day but he just smiled indulgently at my stuttering – he had been joking.

"Adrian is nice," I told him. "He's rich and intelligent… sort of… and his family and mine have been friends for centuries."

_Why did it sound like I was justifying it to myself rather than him?_

He nodded. "When was it decided that you would marry?"

"About six years ago?"

"Is this normal for Royals?"

Pulling a face that indicated that I didn't know how to answer, I let out a breath before answering. "Yes and no. Usually because Royals tend to grow up with solely Royals, they form love marriages anyway and the ones who don't – like me – tend to get pushed towards each other. Some other Royals, like Christian Ozera don't have that kind of pressure."

"Because his parents are Strigoi?"

I flinched. It was still a tender topic that was still whispered about during sleepovers and parties. Christian's parents had turned themselves Strigoi two years ago and St Vladimir's had never been so full of whispers and gossip as it had been then. Christian had turned into a recluse, a temperamental one at that, and was now simply a cautionary tale to the younger students. A time bomb, they called him. It was deemed inevitable that he would eventually turn Strigoi and join his parents. It was a spine-chilling notion.

It shocked me that Dimitri hadn't sounded judgmental at all. It was like he was simply stating facts rather than letting his opinion influence it. As a Guardian, he obviously hated Strigoi, but it was nice that he didn't seem to judge Christian for his parents' actions.

"Yeah. But even before that, they're pretty chilled about mingling with other Royals. They're always nice but they're not into the politics like the Ivashkov's are."

"I know his aunt, Tasha," he told me conversationally, revealing a small part of his life outside being a Guardian. It made me realize that I wanted to know more – much more- about Dimitri Belikov.

"Oh?"

"She's a lovely woman."

_That was lacking_, I thought. _Clearly he doesn't want to talk about it_.

Changing the subject, I turned to him again and this time, the smile came easier. "Have _you_ ever been engaged, Dimitri?"

I already knew the answer. Top of his class? An incredibly experienced and lethal Guardian? No way would he have had the time to fall in love and become engaged?

He rewarded me with a laugh. "No, Rose, I have not."

We stayed like that for a few moments, me smiling at him and him at me, as though we were friends. It made my stomach go warm inside and I decided that Dimitri and I would be friends from here on out.

The bell broke our moment and my stomach immediately chilled at the thought of dealing with masses of people in classes, whispering behind hands and staring at me. I needed to remember that I was Rosemarie Hathaway and nobody could screw with me. Nodding to myself in resolution, I stood and took a fortifying breath. "Let's go swim with the sharks."


	6. Six

**I'm so sorry this took so long! Doing a postgraduate degree is exceedingly time consuming and I kind of had a writers block with this. I've got a rough plan now so I'll try and be better with updates. Again, I'm really sorry for letting you guys down with it.**

* * *

I didn't see Lissa until that evening after a long day of classes, since she had training to catch up on and attend to and I had to get back to my studies. It was nice to see her, even just briefly, since we'd both been so stressed after the break. She always seemed to calm me down some. The usual classes, like Histories of Moroi and Dhampirs, was just as boring as it had always been; I felt so useless and limited sitting in a classroom since I'd seen what it was _really_ like out there. New York had been so eye-opening; Sofia's death and my stupidity (the stupidity and arrogance that had caused her death) were only the beginning. I'd seen the mass amounts of Strigoi that people like Lissa were expected to kill. That Moroi were expected to ignore. It sickened me just thinking about it. That week, the only reprieve I faced was the few moments I had alone with Lissa and the daydreaming I did in classes where I would stare fixedly on one particular Dhampir…

He'd handled the "situation" as I was now calling it with such efficiency, and the situation after, his apology to me about Mia, with more grace than I had expected from him. He didn't seem the sort to apologise often, and I felt guilty by the fact that it was me and my actions that had made him apologise. I shouldn't have done what I did to Mia. I could justify it to myself, to Lissa and to him all I wanted, but the fact remained that Sofia wouldn't have wanted me to defend her in a way that threatened my sanity or health. I knew that.

But she'd defended me so many times before in my life, I just had to give something back to her.

It had also been surprisingly comfortable to discuss my private life with Dimitri. Discussing Adrian had been odd, but only because I'd not spoken of it in so long. Everybody knew we were meant to marry after I had finished my studies here so nobody spoke of it, really. Most Moroi were too consumed in their own lives to worry about my love life… except Mia. She was practically in love with Adrian, but had had her own dalliances around school recently also - Aaron, the boy whom I was friends with and who I'd been told by Lissa had a crush on me: a crush I'd used against Mia before in the canteen, was the primary boy in Mia's life. But these boys, the school understood, were just fillers to her. She'd crushed hard on Adrian since she first saw him and despised me for being engaged to him. It didn't matter to her that I didn't plan our marriage, or I didn't love him, or he didn't love me, all that mattered in her mind was that I'd have Adrian after school finished and he'd have me. For obvious reasons, she cared a lot about my love life.

A political marriage of some variety had been my fate for so long, I didn't think anything of it. Until now. Dimitri had seemed somewhat surprised these things happened. Hadn't he been a Guardian to another Royal and had learnt our ways? The way he'd frowned after I told him it was an arranged marriage. It made me feel…wrong. As though maybe I shouldn't be submitting to our families' wishes and marrying Adrian purely because we'd both been told to. The only problem was that not many other Royals, or even just Moroi, would be willing to marry me - my Spirit prevented this. Nobody wanted to marry someone who would become insane within a small number of years if she ever used her gift.

Adrian was brave, I'd give him that.

The class I'd not paid a single drop of attention to finished; I'd learnt nothing. I'd just stared at Dimitri in a daze and questioned my engagement for the first time ever. For some peculiar reason, I didn't like to think of Dimitri viewing me as old fashioned or backwards or narrow minded. The question I asked myself now was why on earth did I care so much?

* * *

"What's Russia like?" I'd never been, and if Dimitri and I were going to be spending a lot of time together, I figured I should get to know the man. He was risking his life for me; the least I could do was befriend him.

We were walking to the lunch room, slowly; all day I'd been in a funk. I didn't know if it was the fact that I'd not spent much time with Lissa in the time we'd been back or because I was surrounded by Dimitri all day long, or if using Spirit was messing with my head somehow… either way, I'd spent the day daydreaming and thinking about my life. High school was full of pressures anyway; being the last of the Hathaway line made it even worse.

"It's cold," he joked, throwing me a small grin. "It's big… I've only seen parts of it. It's full of life in the cities, full of colour and always busy."

I smiled at him, imagining what that'd be like. "I bet it's like you're anonymous." Even to my ears I sounded envious. Maybe I could just run away to Russia one day, forget my responsibilities in this life and start another. One with Lissa, and we could just laugh and love and live.

He nodded at me, opening a door and gesturing me through. "I suppose in some ways it is." It sounded like he was speaking carefully, as though not wanting to say too much. I internally laughed - was he worried I'd try to run away again? Could he read me that well? Or was he worried that I'd head into a Strigoi area and cause havoc and the death of a friend again? My internal amusement died down exceptionally quickly.

I sighed wistfully. "I can't imagine it. Not having people watching your every move. It was nice… before, I mean. Before coming back to school. Before Sofia…"

I trailed off. _When_ would I stop thinking about her? About what I did? Would I ever get over it? Some part of me recognised that no, I wouldn't. I would always think of her, and I would always blame myself… because it _was_ my fault.

It was like he knew exactly what I was thinking, because he stopped us and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and leaned down slightly. God, he was tall. And imposing. He dwarfed me, and that was saying something since I was already so tall.

"The pressure you feel will lessen over time," he told me, sagely, wisely, again acting beyond his years.

I shook my head. "I'm next in line for the throne. Did you know that? I am literally a Princess." I snorted, as though the idea amused me rather than terrified me.

"Yes I know that," he told me slowly. "But you will have help."

I rolled my eyes. "It will be people pushing me and pulling me trying to mould me to what they want. How is that any different to now? Except the stakes will be higher then." I swallowed shakily, not daring to think of how it would be when the fate of the Moroi and Dhampir races relied on me: the reckless waif of a girl, the girl with a best friend who could handle that responsibility, the girl who would be insane if she ever tried to be of use in their fight against the Strigoi. Brilliant.

"You will have help from your friends. I am sure Vasilissa will help you, and your… Adrian." It was like he was going to say fiancee and thought better of it; thank God, because if I had to think of Adrian as someone close to me in that way I'd probably have started hyperventilating. After school, I would settle down and become the girl everyone wanted me to be. But for now, at school… I could be scared and innocent just a little longer.

_Not innocent, Rose_, the dark voice in my head reminded me.

I shook it off; I needed to stop letting that part of me take over. It wasn't healthy for anyone involved, least of all me.

I nodded weakly. "I suppose so. I never want Liss to feel like my position is holding her back."

He frowned, looking genuinely confused. I realised that I liked this about Dimitri - he was always so open with his emotions when we were talking just like this. Before, he'd been stoic and unrelenting in his expressions… but when we talked alone, he was actually… friendly. I liked it. A lot.

"She is your best friend. Why would she feel like that?"

Before I could answer, the person our conversation had seemingly begun to involve ran up to up, somewhat breathless. "Hey Rose, hey Guardian Belikov." She threw that greeting at him as an afterthought - I knew she didn't really appreciate me having someone else protect me. She liked doing it herself. She focused solely on me, saying, "You'll never believe what's happened - Mia's room's been vandalised too! She's wailing down in the girls' corridor, using Aaron as a freakin' human tissue." She rolled her eyes, almost bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. When we didn't react straight away, both me and Dimitri digesting this news - did it mean Mia was off our suspect list? - she grabbed my hand and yanked me up. "Come _on_!"

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :)**


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